Karma
by fireflower314
Summary: Lizzie has her daughter back and has just started a real relationship with Bill. Everything seems to be going great- until Ava announces that she's pregnant and Lizzie finds herself walking a mile in Tammy's shoes... Bizzie, Jizzie friendship, AU.
1. The Calm Before the Storm

**Disclaimer:** This is purely a work of fiction, written for fun, not profit. I have nothing to do with Guiding Light, and no share in the ownership of it.

* * *

Karma

Chapter One: The Calm Before the Storm

Bill shut the hotel room door, then leaned back against it and breathed a loud sigh of relief. "We survived," he announced.

Lizzie was clearly trying not to laugh. "She was only here for two hours, Bill," she reminded him.

"Yeah, two hours, no time at all- and she still managed to get into everything, and then you put on that sing-along tape, and-"

"And you enjoyed every minute of it," she retorted, winding her arms around his waist and smiling up at him. "Don't think I didn't notice."

"She's a cute kid," he said with pretended nonchalance, but he had to smile back.

"She takes after her mom," she informed him, then leaned up and gave him a quick kiss.

He kissed her back, pulling her closer to him. "So now that we have your room to ourselves-" he began, then glanced past her. "Hey, did Sarah leave something here? It looks like there's something sticking out-"

Lizzie turned to look, then gasped and slipped free of his hold, picking up a teddy bear hiding just under the bed. "I don't believe this. I was so sure we'd found all her toys!"

"Look, maybe he hasn't left yet," Bill pointed out. "I can run it out to him, and-"

Lizzie hurried to the window, groaning as soon as she looked out. "His car's gone. I'll have to take it to Cross Creek."

"Why don't you just wait until tomorrow?" he suggested. "You're having breakfast there anyway, right?"

"_We_ are having breakfast there, yes. But Sarah likes to have all her toys set up a certain way when she sleeps, you know, and this one…" Lizzie choked up a little as she looked at the stuffed animal in her hands, "this one is the first I got her that she likes enough to…"

Bill quickly went over to her, resting his hands on her shoulders and leaning down so that he'd be at her eye level. "Lizzie, listen to me," he said softly. "She loves you. You've missed out on a lot of time together, yes, but you have her back now, and you can see her whenever you want. Just give it some time, all right? She'll be begging to stay over here with you before you know it."

She forced a smile. "You're right, I know you're right… but it's just so hard to believe that sometimes, you know? I mean… nothing in my life ever really went right until- until I started working with your dad, and now I have everything I've ever wanted- I have my daughter back, and Jonathan and I are at peace, and I have Billy to look out for me, and I have you-" She touched his cheek, her smile becoming sincere for a moment. "I have everything. I'm just… I'm sort of afraid of that, you know? I've thought that before and then everything always fell apart, and I don't want that to happen again-"

"Don't worry." He smiled. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'll make sure Jonathan and Sarah don't even think about leaving, either." Then, more lightly, he added, "You know, Sarah may not be staying here but I know someone who would love to spend the night…"

Lizzie smiled back. "Is that so?"

"Mmhmm." He leaned in to kiss her, but she pulled free from his grasp, laughing.

"Don't distract me!" she scolded him playfully. "I need to take this to Sarah."

He put on his best sulky expression. "What about what _I_ need?"

Lizzie laughed, patting him on the shoulder as she headed for the door. "You can wait," she assured him. "I won't be gone long, promise."

"Good," he said, following her. "Oh, and Lizzie?"

"Hmm?" she asked, pausing to look back at him. One hand was already on the doorknob.

Bill framed his left hand against her cheek, put the other on top of hers at the doorknob, and kissed her until he felt her hand go limp and start to slide free. Then he pulled back a bit and smiled. "Just a little extra incentive for you to come back soon," he told her, trying not to smirk too much.

Lizzie's laugh was definitely on the breathless side. "Okay," she said, pulling the door open and backing out without breaking eye contact with Bill. "I'll be back. Soon. Very soon."

"Good," he said, grin widening.

When she shut the door, he grabbed his laptop and went to her surprisingly tidy desk. There was always work to be done, and no point in wasting time.

* * *

About fifteen minutes later there was a knock at the door. He pushed away from the desk, already smiling. "Did you lose your key ag-" he called, cutting off abruptly when he saw that Ava was standing there, not Lizzie. 

"I thought you'd be here," she said tersely, pushing past him and heading straight for the minibar. "We need to talk."

"Um, Ava, this is Lizzie's suite," he pointed out warily, not moving. "I don't think-"

"I know whose room this is, and I'm not leaving until we talk, so you might as well just stop trying to get rid of me and start listening!" With each word her voice got louder and more frantic, and Bill could see that her hand was trembling too hard for her to open the bottle of water she'd picked up.

He took a step towards her, not sure what to do. Lizzie wouldn't want her in the room, that was for sure, but if something was wrong… "Ava-"

She turned abruptly, her flashing dark eyes meeting his. "Look, I'm pregnant, all right? I'm pregnant, and it's yours."

* * *


	2. Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

**Disclaimer:** I am not in any way associated with Guiding Light, and I'm not making any profit from this story.

* * *

**Chapter Two: Mistakes We Knew We Were Making**

Bill just stared at Ava. "_Pregnant_?" he finally repeated, and recoiled, holding up his hands defensively. "No. Nonononono. You're not pregnant, you're just-"

"Bill, stop it," she said impatiently. "Denial is not going to make this go away."

"'This', this… it's probably just, I don't know- what makes you think you're actually-" He couldn't even say the word again. "I mean, if you're, like, I dunno, getting sick, or-"

"What makes me think I'm pregnant," she repeated sarcastically, slamming the bottle back down on the bar. "I don't know, maybe _three home pregnancy tests and a trip to Cedars_? Do you _really_ think I'd be telling you this if I wasn't sure?"

"I don't know what anyone in this town would do anymore," he retorted, taking a few steps away from her and rubbing his temples. Think, he had to think. He had to figure this out. He could _not_ have gotten Ava Peralta, of all people, pregnant. Lizzie would kill him. _Olivia_ would kill him. How were they going to explain this to Emma? And his father- oh, god. "Look, Ava, are you sure-"

"We slept together right before you started dating Lizzie, remember? Look, you're the only person I've been with since I broke up with Coop. It's yours, Bill. Why would I lie?"

"But- but- this is impossible!" he exclaimed, whirling back around. "We used protection-"

"Take a look at the warning label next time. I'll give you a hint- it doesn't say '100 guarantee' anywhere on there."

Bill groaned, dropping his head in his hands. "So let me get this straight," he said, voice muffled, then looked back up at her. "You and I slept together a few times after I came back home. Then we don't see each other for awhile, then I sleep with you once before I get with Lizzie, and two months later-"

Her jaw dropped. "Are you saying that I'm _lying_ about this, or that I got pregnant on _purpose_?"

"I don't know, but it's possible." He sounded perfectly reasonable. He knew he did. His palms were starting to sweat. Oh god. "Look, Ava, when you want something you do whatever it takes to get it. I respect that. I'm the same way. Just tell me what this is all about, and-"

Ava slapped him, effectively cutting off his babbling. "You know what?" she asked, voice low and taut with rage. "I would do a lot of things to get what I want, but I don't want _you_, and I wouldn't fake a pregnancy or use a real pregnancy to get you, or anyone, to care about me. That's your girlfriend's m.o., not mine."

Ah, _this_ was something he could discuss without wanting to throw up. "Lizzie didn't get pregnant to-"

"Oh well maybe she didn't get _pregnant_ on purpose, but she certainly used it to her advantage," Ava said witheringly. "I was there, Bill. I had to sit by and watch her-"

Bill's eyes narrowed. "Enough," he interrupted her sharply. "I'm not going to stand here and listen to you-"

She crossed her arms under her chest. "Oh so, what, you're going to kick me out?"

"You know what, I just might."

"Oh yeah?"

The door abruptly slammed shut. "What's going on in here?" Lizzie demanded, her voice a few steps away from shrill.

Bill winced, then quickly turned around, clasping his hands. He hadn't even noticed her arrival. Oh god, he was not ready to handle this. "Lizzie, hi," he said, forcing a smile. "Did you-"

"Bill," she interrupted, speaking slowly as if to a child, "what is _she_ doing here?"

"Go on, Bill, tell her," Ava said mockingly, her eyes full of anger.

He gulped. He didn't want to lie, of course, but there was no way he could tell Lizzie the truth. Not when _he_ wasn't even able to deal with it yet. He needed to come to terms with it first. There was no way he could deal with that _and_ with Lizzie's reaction at the same time.

_I'll tell her soon_, he assured himself. _I'm not lying, exactly, just- postponing the truth. She'll understand._ Pause. _Maybe._ Another pause. _If I'm really, really lucky._

"It's just about business, that's all," he said quickly, stroking Lizzie's hair. Ava huffed indignantly and Lizzie's expression was extremely skeptical, but he kept talking. "Alan wants to make some sort of deal with us, and he thought I'd be the best person to talk to about it, so-"


	3. Delaying the Inevitable

Foreward: I should probably explain that the events leading up to this story are NOT the same as what's currently showing on Guiding Light. In this version, pretty much everything up to Lizzie and Sarah's reunion is the same. After that, Lizzie and Jonathan gradually made peace and figured out how to co-parent, but never tried to get married. They're just friends. Bill and Ava's relationship ended differently than it did on the show, too, but that'll be explained in a few chapters. So don't get confused by how Bill's not remembering Jonathan proposing to Lizzie or anything- it just didn't happen in this version of the story.

Disclaimer: This is purely a work of fiction, written for fun, not profit. I have nothing to do with Guiding Light, and no share in the ownership of it.

* * *

CHAPTER THREE: DELAYING THE INEVITABLE

Lizzie was still worried about Bill the next morning, but when she got to Cross Creek and saw her little girl she set those worries aside for awhile. Even after five months she still sometimes feared that having Sarah back was just a dream. But her daughter was alive, and had Lizzie- along with half the town- wrapped around her little finger. Lizzie suspected that Sarah knew it, too.

"Hi, Lizzie," Reva said cheerfully when she opened the door, giving Lizzie a quick hug. "No Bill? I thought he was coming with you."

"So did I, but he has plans," Lizzie said with a sigh, then rushed over to her daughter and scooped her out of her seat, kissing her cheeks. "And how's my little girl doing this morning, hmm?" she cooed, beaming when Sarah smiled and babbled back.

"Your little girl _was _all set up in there," Jonathan complained as he walked into the room.

She rolled her eyes at him. "I can put her back. It's not that hard." She kissed the tip of Sarah's nose and whispered, "Men," in a tone of mock-disgust, delighted when Sarah giggled.

"She definitely has my intelligence," she declared, settling her back in her seat.

"I don't want to know," Jonathan muttered, rubbing Sarah's dark hair.

They just watched their daughter adoringly for a few minutes, making faces and playing with her until Reva served the pancakes.

Then, just after they'd all started eating, Jonathan just had to ruin the nice mood.

"So, Bill couldn't make it- what a shame," he commented in a tone that made it clear that it was anything but.

Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Like I said, he's busy. He'll come with me next time."

"Oh, goody," Jonathan said sarcastically.

"I thought parenting was supposed to mature people."

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?"

"Children, please," Reva interrupted impatiently, swatting Jonathan's shoulder. "Not at the table. Some of us are trying to eat."

Lizzie sighed and went back to her food. "He might be meeting with Alan or something," she commented. "Ava was talking to him about it yesterday- or something like that, anyway." She glanced at Reva. "I swear, when she visits it's like the-" she quickly covered her daughter's ears, "sluttiness soaks into the walls or something. Any idea of what to do about that?" She let her hands drop, touching Sarah's cheek before focusing on Reva.

"Nice, Lizzie," Jonathan said dryly.

She rolled her eyes. "Did I ask your opinion?"

Reva looked like she was struggling not to laugh. "Well I've had to deal with that when Olivia drops by, so I'll see what I can do to help."

"Thanks," Lizzie said, and laughed quickly. "I'm just glad she's not after Bill anymore. She even seemed mad at him yesterday."

"Not after Bill?" Jonathan's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, she and Bill kind of had a thing for awhile when he came back to town," she said with a dismissive hand wave, trying to sound casual. "It pretty much ended right after you came back, actually. It didn't really mean anything, and he hasn't talked to her much since then, so-"

"How do you know? He let her into your room, didn't he?"

"Jonathan, it's not like that," she said defensively. "Really. They were just talking about business."

He looked less than convinced. "Bill said that?"

"Yes."

"And you believed him?"

Lizzie tried to ignore the twinge of doubt in the back of her mind. "Of course I do," she insisted. "I trust him. He cares about me, and he never cared about her. I know that."

"Yeah, because he's such a stand-up guy. He's never lied to you or hurt you- oh, wait."

"Jonathan, it's Lizzie's choice," Reva pointed out.

"Yeah, it is." His sharp eyes met Lizzie's. "I just don't see why she won't _choose_ to do better."

Sarah had been looking back and forth between them, growing more agitated the more they let their civil facades slip. Before Lizzie could respond to Jonathan's latest remark, Sarah burst into tears.

She quickly stood. "I'll get this," she muttered, not looking at Jonathan.

"If you want, I can-" Reva said quickly.

"No, it's fine, I got it."

"Lizzie-" It was Jonathan's attempt at a pacifying tone, the one that always drove her nuts. Like _she_ was the one overreacting.

"I'm not that hungry, anyway," she said sharply, pulling off Sarah's bib and quickly cleaning her hands with a napkin. That taken care of, she settled her daughter on her hip and headed for the living room.

Jonathan, never one to give up easily, started to stand up but Reva grabbed his arm to hold him back. Lizzie could hear them speaking in hushed, terse voices as she exited the room.

She sat down on the couch, rocking Sarah back and forth. The little girl quieted quickly, as usual. Lizzie sighed, pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"I know you're still hungry, but let's just sit here for a minute, okay?" she asked softly, rubbing her daughter's back. Sarah tucked her head against Lizzie, and she couldn't help gathering her close.

"Bill cares about me," she murmured, smiling down at her daughter. "He does. Daddy just doesn't like him, so of course he wants me to think the worst. But Mommy's smarter than that, isn't she?"

But she couldn't help remembering how strangely Bill had been acting after Ava had left. _There's nothing going on, Lizzie,_ she told herself. _If he wanted to be with her, he would tell me. He never had a problem with hurting me before, so he'd do it now. He hasn't, so it's okay. There's nothing to worry about._

_Right?_

* * *

Shortly after breakfast, Jonathan walked Lizzie back out to her car, bringing Sarah with him. Alan hadn't been a threat for a long time, but Jonathan had spent almost a year as Sarah's sole caretaker- well, except for the brief time that Aubrey had been around to help out, too- and he still kept her close whenever he could. Not that Lizzie could comment, since she tended to do the same thing. 

"Look, I'm- I'm sorry about breakfast," Jonathan finally said, though she could tell that he was forcing the words out. "But I still don't see why you'd bother with him after he-"

"You and I don't exactly have a great history, but we gave each other another chance," she pointed out.

He rolled his eyes. "That's different. We have Sarah. We have to get along. Besides, we're not _dating_."

"You don't need to sound so happy about it," she teased.

"Aren't you? We might have Sarah, but if we actually tried to make it work between us we'd probably end up killing each other. You get so jealous-"

"_I_ get jealous?" She gaped at him. "What about _you_? Whenever guys so much as looked at Tammy you'd freak out."

"I wasn't jealous, I was protective," he informed her loftily. "There's a difference."

"Whatever. Look, Bill hurt me. I know that. But we care about each other, so I gave him a chance to do better, and so far he has. Isn't that what happened with you and Tammy?"

He looked down, staring hard at the ground. "She deserved better," he muttered.

"She needed you," Lizzie said softly.

"So you _need_ Bill?"

She paused, tilting her head thoughtfully. "I don't know," she finally told him, "but I do know that I want a chance to find out."

He sighed. "Well it's your funeral. But if there _is_ something going on with him and Ava, tell me, okay? I'll deal with it."

She smiled wryly. "Jonathan, I'm a Spaulding. I think I can get my own revenge. But thanks." She leaned up and kissed Sarah's cheeks, then briefly squeezed Jonathan's hand. They traded quick smiles before she slipped into her car and drove away.

* * *

Three days later, Lizzie wasn't feeling any better about Bill. On the contrary, she grew more worried than ever. 

She sat at her meeting with Billy, drumming her pen against her notepad and listening half-heartedly to what her mentor was saying. Most of her mind was worrying about Bill. He'd been quiet again when she had seen him in his office, like he hadn't really been paying attention to her.

"Lizzie," Billy said abruptly, startling her out of her reverie. She glanced up at him, eyes wide, and found him frowning at her. "Darlin', you haven't heard a word I'm saying. What's the matter?"

"Nothing… maybe… I don't know…" She tapped the pen even harder, then tossed it aside. "It's Bill. He's driving me crazy!"

"What's my boy done this time?" he asked with a long-suffering sigh.

"Well, it's just…" She bit her lip, "sometimes he gets so quiet and out of it, you know? It's like he doesn't even notice I'm there, and when I try to ask him what's wrong he pretends like everything's normal. And then- like yesterday he got me all those roses, remember? At work, and at home- everywhere I went it was like there were more. And he took me out to dinner the day before that, and-"

"Uh-oh, roses and dinner?" Billy teased. "That sounds terrible."

"I'm serious, Billy!" she exclaimed indignantly. "He wasn't being romantic. I've seen him romantic, and that wasn't it. He seems… I don't know, sort of desperate, like he's trying too hard. I'm really worried about him, Billy!"

"Sssh, darlin', it's okay," he said gently, getting up and going over to her. "I'm taking this seriously. I am. Do you want me to talk to him?"

"No, it's okay." She waved a hand dismissively, wished that she could really take it so lightly. "I'll take care of it. I just… I needed someone to talk to, I guess."

"Well you know I'll always listen."

She smiled. "I know, Billy. Thank you."

"I should be the one thanking _you_," he said lightly, putting his hand on her shoulder. "You're the one who's been so good to my boy, even when he didn't deserve it."

Lizzie shrugged a shoulder. "Nobody's perfect, right?" she said with an embarrassed laugh. "Besides, I… I know what it's like to hurt people because they won't give you what you need. I'm so glad neither of us are like that anymore. We're both- we're more mature now, and we're together, and we'll be okay, no matter what's going on with Bill." She wished that she could say all that without needing someone else to confirm it for her.

* * *

Bill was supposed to be looking at plans for one of his latest projects, but he kept getting distracted by thoughts of Lizzie and Ava, like he had ever since Ava had told him about her pregnancy. He was no closer to figuring out how to tell Lizzie now than he had been when he himself had first found out. He'd been trying to do all the nice things he could think of for Lizzie over the past few days, like any of it could make up for getting another woman pregnant. He knew it was futile, but couldn't help hoping that when Lizzie found out she would realize that all those gifts and acts meant that he did care about her and want her in his life, no matter what, and that no baby could change that. 

_It won't change how she feels about me, either,_ he tried to reassure himself. _It couldn't. I know how much she- well, maybe not loves yet, but she definitely cares about me. She can handle this. She knows Ava means nothing to me, so she won't worry about that, and she… she won't leave me._ He tried to shake off that thought and momentarily wished that he could go back to when he had first arrived in town and Lizzie was nothing but competition for the spot he'd thought he deserved at the company. That had been so much easier than how vulnerable she'd made him now.

His office door opened, catching him off guard, and when he glanced up he saw that Ava had strode into his office and was glaring at him. "Don't you know how to knock?" he asked, too caught off-guard to really think about his words.

She looked disgusted. "You've been ignoring my calls for _three days_," she snapped. "That's not going to make this go away, Bill."

"I need time to deal with it," he insisted, standing and folding his arms over his chest.

Ava marched over to his desk, matching his posture. "Well, guess what? You don't _have_ time, and neither do I. We're going to be parents, and the sooner you _accept_ that-"

Bill heard a gasp. He quickly looked towards the doorway, eyes widening when he saw who was standing there…


	4. What She Doesn't Know

**Disclaimer:** This is purely a work of fiction, written for fun, not profit. I have nothing to do with Guiding Light, and no share in the ownership of it.

* * *

Chapter Four: What She Doesn't Know

Dinah stared at Bill. "What the hell is she talking about?" she demanded in a low, hard voice that left no room for b.s.

Bill, being Bill, tried some anyway. "Dinah, I-"

"Oh my god, it's true." She looked horrified. "What did you do?"

He thought about holding out awhile longer but knew better than to try. Instead he threw up his hands in exasperation. "What do you think I did? There are only so many ways you can accidently get someone-"

Ava shoved past him, heading for the door. "Quit acting like you're the victim here," she snapped. "I didn't do this on purpose. I didn't want a kid any more than you do, and _I'm_ the one that's going to have to be pregnant. So if you think _you're _the one that deserves a pity party-"

"So you didn't get pregnant on purpose, then," Dinah said coolly, arms crossed over her chest.

Ava shot her a narrow-eyed look. "No, I didn't. And how is this any of _your_ business?"

"Bill's my brother," she informed her, and Ava was very lucky that looks couldn't kill. "Assuming this kid is his, then it's family. You'd better believe it's my business."

Ava scoffed. "Oh that's nice. You don't even know me, Dinah, and you've already judged me and decided that I'm lying and trapping Bill-"

"You're right, I don't know you." She still sounded so calm. Bill knew that he'd be in for it once Ava left and his sister didn't have to be on his side anymore. "But I'm certainly not judging you. I just know what people are capable of, and I don't want my brother to be hurt. Surely you can understand that."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. I don't have to stand here and take this, so I'm leaving. But you-" She glared at Bill, "need to quit avoiding me so we can deal with this." Ignoring Dinah completely, she swept out of Bill's office.

He groaned and leaned back against his desk, rubbing his forehead. "Don't even start," he warned his sister, not looking at her. "You can't say anything I haven't already thought a thousand times."

She was actually silent for a moment. Then, tightly, "Does Lizzie know?"

Bill did look up at that. "No. I haven't told anyone- especially not Lizzie- and you can't say anything, all right?" He pushed off from the desk, started to pace. "I mean, I've only known for three days. I don't know what to do yet. And until I figure it out, I need you to keep this quiet." She didn't say anything, just kept looking at him, until he stopped in front of her and burst out, "Dinah, I need you to have my back on this, okay? If you tell anyone-"

"I won't tell anyone," she bit out. "But Bill, if Ava's going to go through with this pregnancy- and if you're sure the kid's yours- then there's not that much to figure out. You have to tell her."

"I know," he said quietly. "I just- I don't know how. I've changed, Dinah. I _am_ better than I was when I first came back to town, and not just because of Lizzie. I wanted to change, and I have. People trust me now, Dinah. _Lizzie_ trusts me. When she finds out…"

Dinah sighed and hugged him. "Lizzie cares about you," she told him firmly. "You two can work this out. Don't let her give up on you, all right?"

Bill nodded. "I'll try."

"Do better than try."

He just hoped that he could.

* * *

Ava stared through the store window, looking at the display of baby items. The store seemed to be filled with any toy or outfit or piece of furniture imaginable. It was so strange to think that soon this place could become a regular destination for her, not just a building to glance at as she walked by.

A baby, she thought for the billionth time, feeling as dazed by the idea as always. She hadn't been expecting this. She certainly hadn't wanted this. But… for so long, ever since her adoptive mother's death, she had felt alone, and it had only been worse when Sandy left her. Sure, she had family now- Jeffrey and Olivia and Emma- but she'd come so close to losing her biological mother, too, that it had made her feel that sense of loss and loneliness all over again. But this baby… her family would grow. There would be someone new to love and be loved by.

She had no idea how she was going to handle single parenting, even if Bill wanted to be involved- which she seriously doubted- but she already knew that no matter how much stress and hassle this baby brought into her life, the love would make it more than worthwhile.

A small smile curved her lips. "I'm going to be a mom," she murmured, barely resisting the temptation to touch her still-flat stomach.

After a few more moments she finally walked away, never noticing that she was being watched from someone inside the store.

* * *

"Our three-month anniversary is coming up," Lizzie told Reva as they shopped for clothes for Sarah.

"Is it?"

"Yeah, at the end of next week." Lizzie held up two similar sundresses, trying to decide which color would suit Sarah better. Her voice self-deprecating, she added, "I know it's silly for me to be so excited- I mean, it's not like we're going to celebrate it or anything-"

"It isn't silly at all," Reva assured her. "I'm glad things have been going so well for you. He really seems to make you happy."

"He does," Lizzie said quietly, a warm smile crossing her face. "And you know, I think I might actually make him happy, too." She laughed wryly. "It's a nice change from my usual relationships."

"Well, you're older and wiser now," her former mother-in-law pointed out, teasing.

"That's for sure," she agreed, laughing quickly. Then, sobering, she added, "You know, I always wanted someone who could love me for who I am. Coop was always trying to change me, and Jonathan didn't love me to begin with, but Bill… I think I might actually get my wish this time."

Reva smiled. "Good."

Lizzie smiled back, then wandered over to a nearby rack of accessories to look at some cute headbands. When she glanced up, her gaze drifted to the store window and she saw Ava Peralta, eyes oddly soft, looking inside.

Lizzie blinked, wondering if she was just imagining it, but a second look proved that Ava was still there. She looked… strange. Very unlike the bold, determined woman Lizzie was used to dealing with.

She frowned. _She doesn't seem like the type to daydream over baby clothes- but then again, people probably always thought that about me. _Still, she couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something wasn't quite right about this.


	5. The Best Laid Plans

**Disclaimer:** This is purely a work of fiction, written for fun, not profit. I have nothing to do with Guiding Light, and no share in the ownership of it.

* * *

Chapter Five: The Best-Laid Plans

Lizzie smiled to herself as she finished buttoning up her shirt. Bill had spent the night with her, and for the first time in a week things had seemed normal. She'd been half-afraid that he'd be quiet and distracted again when they woke up, but so far, so good.

"You're definitely doing this wrong," Bill informed her, slipping up behind her and winding his arms around her waist. "I think you should be _un_buttoning it, not-" She slapped lightly at his hands and he laughed, moving her hair aside so he could kiss her neck.

"Stop that," she said lightly, but she couldn't keep a huge grin from spreading across her face. "We do have to get to work today, Bill."

"Dad'll understand-"

"I have a deal to close," she reminded him, turning to look at him. "You're just going to have to wait until this afternoon."

"Oh, if I must," he said with a sigh. Then he quickly added, "Speaking of this afternoon, do you want to go out for dinner?"

She smiled. "Sure, that sounds great. I have to stop by Cedars to see my nana after work, but I can meet you after that."

"Works for me," he agreed, and pulled her into a kiss that, as always, left her head spinning.

"Bill-"

He smiled, his forehead still touching hers. "Come on, five extra minutes won't hurt-"

She sighed, leaning in for another kiss. "Five minutes," she repeated, though she knew perfectly well that it would be anything but.

* * *

Strangely enough, it had been deciding to tell Lizzie the truth about Ava's pregnancy that made Bill feel so at peace. Once he had decided that, he could come up with a plan to take care of the situation. He'd take Lizzie out to dinner, let them have one last evening free of problems, and then tell her after they got back to her place. He couldn't quite convince himself that she'd take it well, but he thought she'd forgive him soon enough. After all, he and Lizzie hadn't been together when Ava got pregnant, so it wasn't like she could be mad at him for cheating, and she knew that he only thought of Ava as a friend- a really hot friend, sure, but a friend nonetheless. Throwing a kid into the mix wouldn't change that, he was sure of it.

Now he just had to figure out what he was actually going to say to Lizzie.

He sat at the counter in Company after work, absently fiddling with the cup of coffee he'd ordered and thinking about Lizzie. He'd be meeting her in about an hour, and he still had no idea what he was going to say. How could he tell her this? What would be the easiest way to do it?

"There isn't one," he muttered, and laughed mirthlessly. As much as he hated to admit it, there was no way he'd be able to avoid hurting her. He'd given Jonathan so much grief for all the things he'd done and told himself and everyone else that he'd changed, that he'd never hurt Lizzie again. But this… he couldn't have come up with a better way to hurt her if he'd tried.

"What's so funny?" Jonathan asked tersely, stopping Sarah's stroller next to him.

Bill almost laughed again, just at the irony. _Speak of the devil._ "What are you doing here?" he asked instead, too tired to work up his usual amount of ire and disdain. "Don't you have your bar back or whatever?"

"Reva's watching the place."

"Better her than Dad, I guess," Bill said wryly. "Look, I really don't need to deal with this right now, so why don't you just-"

"Trying to walk away without getting in any insults?" Jonathan said with a laugh. "Lizzie said you were acting weird, but this-"

Bill could just imagine what Jonathan would do when he found out about Ava's pregnancy; how he'd use it to turn Lizzie against him. His temper snapped at the very idea, and he scrambled up from the stool, grabbing Jonathan by the shirtfront. "Don't you even say her name," he said very quietly.

Jonathan laughed wildly, his eyes alight with challenge. "Not here, man," he told him with a grin. "Not in front of Sarah. I have to set a good example and all that."

Bill gritted his teeth but let him go. He was right, as much as he hated to admit it- Lizzie would kill them both if she found out they were anything but completely civil to each other when Sarah was around.

"Don't think we're finished," he warned him anyway. Let it not be said that Bill Lewis would walk away from a fight.

Jonathan smiled slowly. "Oh don't worry, I won't forget."

Bill was about to deliver some witty retort when his phone rang. He flipped it open, keeping his eyes on Jonathan. "Hey- wait, slow down. Where are you?" He listened, his eyes widening. "The hosp- wait, she _what_? I'm on my way." He shoved his phone into his pocket, dropping a random bunch of dollar bills onto the counter for the waitress to pick up.

"Hey, what's going on?" Jonathan asked.

"None of your business," he bit out.

"If it has to do with Lizzie-"

"Get out of my way!" Bill pushed past him and was out the door seconds later.

* * *

Lizzie, meanwhile, had stopped by Cedars to Lillian, like she had told Bill she would that morning. While she was looking for her grandmother, she ran across Ava and Emma sitting on one of the seats in the hallway.

As much as Lizzie loathed Ava, she was not going to make their younger sister deal with that. So instead of paying attention to her rival, Lizzie smiled down at Emma.

"Hey, Em."

"Lizzie!" Emma said happily. Lizzie sat down on her other side, and Emma gave her a hug. "Where's Sarah?"

"Sarah's with her daddy right now," Lizzie explained, tugging on one of the seven-year-old's braids. She couldn't help feeling a small twinge of pain- seeing Emma couldn't help reminding her of _their_ father and of how much Lizzie missed him. "What are you doing here?"

"Surprising Mommy."

"Oh, you are? Is she here for an appointment?" She glanced up at Ava.

"Yeah, she is," Ava replied, laying a hand on Emma's shoulder. It wasn't about enmity- she was clearly being protective, something Lizzie couldn't fault her for. "We thought we'd take her to see a movie afterwards, right, Emma?" She smiled at the little girl, but it looked strained.

"Right!" Emma confirmed. "Ava said she'll buy me a whole bucket of popcorn."

"Oh she will?" Lizzie asked brightly, smiling. "That sounds great. Are you sure you'll be able to eat it all? Maybe you should save some for me."

"I think we'll be fine," Ava cut in.

Lizzie frowned at her. "Are you okay? You look kind of pale."

"I'm fine," she said, gritting her teeth and quickly standing. "I-" She stopped, frowning, and grasped Lizzie's shoulder. The blonde was about to complain when she saw the grimace on Ava's face and realized that she was trying to steady herself.

Lizzie slowly stood, getting honestly concerned. "Ava?" she asked tentatively, then gasped when Ava swayed, eyes closing, and started to collapse.

Lizzie quickly caught her, wobbling a little under her taller frame, and looked to a clearly terrified Emma. "Go find one of the nurses," she told her, lowering Ava back onto the seat. "She'll be okay, she just needs someone to look at her real quick, okay?" Emma nodded and took off down the hall.

The blonde studied Ava helplessly for a moment, reached to check her pulse and then let her hand drop again. What good would it do? It wasn't like she had any medical training.

Not really thinking, she pulled out her cell phone and pushed a button on speed dial. She waited for Bill to answer, crouching down next to Ava and keeping an eye on the unconscious brunette.

"Hey-"

"Bill, it's me. I'm here and I might be late, I don't know, I might need to stay with Emma if Olivia takes much longer and I-"

"Wait, slow down," Bill told her, sounding far too reasonable. "Where are you?"

"The hospital!" she said in frustration. "Remember?"

"The hosp-"

"I know, I should have been done by now, but Ava passed out and she and Emma might-"

"Wait, she _what_?" Bill burst out. She blinked- he sounded full-out panicked. She knew he'd be concerned, but she hadn't expected this much of a reaction. "I'm on my way."

She would have told him that it was unnecessary but he hung up before she could get another word in. So instead she sighed and slid the phone into her pocket, turning just in time to see Emma return, Lillian right on her heels.

* * *

Lillian helped Ava into another room after the brunette woke moments later, leaving Lizzie to wait in the hallway with Emma. A short while later Lillian returned, stopping in front of them. Both of them stood up, eyes fixed on her. Even Lizzie was worried- Olivia's illness was enough for Emma to worry about right now. She didn't need her sister to be sick, too.

"How's Ava?" Emma asked anxiously, squeezing Lizzie's hand.

"Ava's just fine, don't worry," Lillian assured her. "She and the baby are both-"

"Baby?" Lizzie repeated blankly. "Wait, Ava's pregnant?"

She heard footsteps behind her and turned before Lillian could respond, meeting Bill's eyes. She opened her mouth to speak, though she wasn't sure what she'd say, but then she noticed how pale and guilty he looked and did a double-take.

"Wait, you knew about this?" she began, then recoiled as the realization finally hit her.

"I was going to tell you tonight, I swear" Bill said quickly, holding up both hands. "Lizzie, I didn't mean-"

"Oh, my god," she whispered in horror. "_You're_ the father?"


	6. Tailspin

**Disclaimer:** I have nothing to do with Guiding Light, and I am not profiting from this story in any way.

* * *

Chapter Six: Tailspin

Bill wasn't sure what was worse- Lizzie's horrified, wide-eyed stare or Emma's look of total confusion. Of all the ways he'd imagined Lizzie finding out, he'd never dreamed up one this bad.

_This cannot possibly get any worse_, he thought grimly. "Lizzie…" What was he supposed to say? How could he explain? All the words he'd planned earlier had vanished from his mind, leaving him floundering when he needed them the most.

And then, unbelievably, the situation managed to deteriorate even further. "Lizzie?" Jonathan asked from behind him, pushing past Bill on his way to the small blonde's side. "What's going on?"

Her eyes were still fixed on Bill, and they were, to his horror, filling with tears. "_How could you do this?_" she abruptly shrieked, and launched herself at him. Jonathan caught her around the waist, barely keeping hold as she struggled in his arms, and Emma watched in terror. Lillian had her hands over her mouth, looking from one to the other in shock.

Bill just stood, frozen, and watched Lizzie fall apart because of him. Again.

"Bill, what the hell's going on?" Jonathan snarled, still struggling to keep hold of Lizzie.

Bill shook his head and looked to Lillian. "Can you-" He choked on the words, ended up just indicating Emma.

Lillian started, then quickly nodded and took Emma's hand. "Come on, sweetie, let's go see your big sister," she said as cheerfully as she could. Emma kept looking back at them as she led her away, but at least she did go.

Lizzie abruptly stilled, tears rolling down her cheeks. "_Ava?_" she demanded of Bill. "Why- why her? Of all the- you cheated- why?"

Bill gaped at her. "Wait, you think I-"

"You know what, Bill?" Jonathan snapped. His arms were still around Lizzie, and Bill knew he'd hate him for that later, when he could think about anything other than her. "Just don't talk to her right now. It sounds like you've done enough already." He looked down at her, and his voice softened. "Come on, Lizzie, let's go."

"No, she and I need to talk." Bill focused on Lizzie, hoping she'd listen to him. "Don't listen to him. Let me explain-"

"What is there to explain?" she asked with a hollow laugh. "I've heard enough." She jerked free of Jonathan's hold, glaring at Bill. "You said you'd change, and I believed you. I trusted you, Bill. I won't make that mistake again."

"Lizzie-"

"Save it," she snapped. "Come on, Jonathan, let's go." She pushed past Bill and headed for the door, Jonathan by her side, one hand on her back.

"Lizzie!" Bill called after her. "_Lizzie_!"

She didn't look back.

* * *

Lizzie didn't say a word until Jonathan parked the car in the driveway of Cross Creek. "I thought you might want to stay here for a few days, since Bill has a key to your hotel room and everything," he muttered. "I'll go get some of your stuff later, in case Bill's there."

She shuddered at the idea of Bill waiting for her, trying to talk his way back into her good graces. She couldn't let that happen again. "Okay," she said quietly, wiping her eyes. "Thanks, Jonathan."

He shrugged. "The sooner you're over him, the better off Sarah will be. What did he do, anyway?"

Lizzie flinched. It was hard enough just thinking about it. Would she actually have to tell people? She couldn't imagine it. "It's Ava," she finally whispered, staring hard at the dashboard. "She's- she's pregnant."

"And it's Bill's?" When Lizzie nodded, they both lapsed back into silence for awhile. Given the fact that Jonathan had been in Bill's shoes two years earlier, he couldn't really criticize him for it. Jonathan was many things, but he had never been a hypocrite.

"I can't believe I trusted him," Lizzie finally burst out, trying not to choke on the words. "I really thought that he- that he cared, and he cheated on me with _Ava_, and-"

"Whoa, Lizzie." Jonathan shook his head. "Look, I hate to say anything nice about the guy, but- are you sure he cheated on you? He was sleeping with Ava before you guys got together, right? Maybe he got her pregnant then."

"Like with you and me?" She smiled wryly, stared out the window. "That's different. Who would cheat on Tammy? But me-"

Jonathan touched her shoulder, waited for her to look at him before he spoke. "And as for you," he said quietly, "if any guy is stupid enough to cheat on you, by the time I'm through with him he won't be able to get _anyone_ pregnant. All right?"

She had to laugh, though it sounded more like a sob. "Thanks, Jonathan." He smiled a little, stroked her hair, and it was the unanticipated, kind gesture that undid her. Tears started rolling down her cheeks again, and she buried her face in her hands, her small frame shaking with sobs. She heard the sound of a seatbelt being unbuckled, and then Jonathan had leaned over and his arms were around her. She held on tightly, grateful for the unexpected but much needed comfort.

* * *

Bill knew not to follow Lizzie, no matter how much he wanted to, so he forced himself to go find Lillian instead. She had taken Emma to Ava's room, and he found himself there as well soon enough, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"What happened?" he asked after a moment.

Ava looked over towards him, her eyes hard. "What do you care?" she snapped.

"I'm the baby's father." It was easier to say than he had thought it would be. "If there's something wrong and I can help-"

"Well there's nothing-"

"There is something you can do," Lillian cut in tersely. Bill was obviously not on her list of favorite people just then. "If you're going to help, make sure she doesn't skip any more meals. She's only had a couple of snacks today, which is why she fainted."

"Lillian!" Ava said indignantly. When the older woman only shrugged serenely, Ava stood, scowling. "Like I told you, it's only because I was busy with work. Believe me, I don't need him or anyone to take care of me. I was going to-"

"It doesn't matter how much work you have, you can't skip meals if you're pregnant!" Bill snapped, startling even himself by how angry he was. "How often do you do this?"

"Bill-" Lillian pointedly nodded towards Emma.

He looked over at the girl who had once been his daughter and forced himself to calm down. She didn't need to see him taking his frustration out on Ava. He shouldn't be taking anything out on her, period. The burst of temper abruptly vanished and he just sighed, tired. "Look, why don't we go over to Company," he offered, rubbing his forehead. "My treat. What do you say?"

"Olivia has an appointment-" Ava began.

"She can meet us there."

Ava hesitated for a moment, then shrugged. "Shouldn't you be going after Lizzie?" she asked sullenly. "Emma told me what happened."

Bill flinched, but his voice was even as he replied, "Lizzie does not want to see me right now, _believe_ me. Come on, do you want some free food or not? I'm sure your sister's hungry- Emma, are you hungry?" She nodded, and he took it as a good sign. Even though she wasn't his anymore, he'd never stopped caring about her, and he didn't want their relationship to deteriorate more than it already had. "Now you can't let your sister starve."

Ava sighed. "All right, fine. But don't think this means you're off the hook."

Bill chanced a glance at Lillian, found her watching him disapprovingly. He flashed her a quick smile, even though he was squirming on the inside, and then returned his attention to Ava. "All right, we can talk about that while we eat. Come on, let's go."

* * *

When they walked into Company, the first person Bill saw was Dinah, sitting in a booth and bouncing Sarah on her lap.

His heart twisted. _Well, that explains why Jonathan didn't have her at the hospital_. He turned to Ava and Emma. "I need to go talk to my sister," he told them, and noticed Ava grimace. "You two go ahead and sit down and order whatever you want, okay? My treat, remember."

"What about you?" Emma asked.

He forced a smile. "Don't worry about me. I'm not really hungry." He tugged on one of her braids, winning a tentative smile from her, then went over to Dinah and took a seat across from her.

"Hey, little brother," she said, not looking away from Sarah. "How's it going?"

"Do _not_ ask," he muttered.

She looked up then, frowning as she scrutinized his expression. "That bad, huh? Don't tell me you actually told Lizzie."

He groaned. "_I_ didn't tell her. She was at the hospital, Ava fainted, Lillian said she was pregnant and Lizzie figured it out."

Dinah stared at him. "Oh my- are you serious? How did she take it?"

Bill laughed shortly. "Like I said, do _not_ ask."

"Okay, well, where is she now? Why aren't you with her, explaining yourself and begging her forgiveness?"

"She's with Jonathan," he admitted, scowling. _That_ was hard to say. "He must have followed me to Cedars."

"So that's where he was headed in such a rush," Dinah mused. "I ran into him on my way in and he asked me if I'd watch Sarah for awhile. I was afraid something was wrong."

He stared. "Dinah, something _is_ wrong."

"You know what I mean," she said, waving a dismissive hand. "So, Ava- she doesn't have some kind of condition, or-"

"No, she just hadn't had enough to eat," Bill explained. "That's why I brought her here, she'll be fine." He smiled at Sarah. "The kid seems to like you."

Dinah blinked, then laughed. "Yeah, it's not like I haven't spent any time with her before. I am friends with her parents, you know." She smoothed Sarah's hair and abruptly laughed. "You know- it's funny, I haven't thought of this in years. But I tried to trick Jon into knocking me up once." Bill recoiled, staring at her in horror, and she teasingly continued, "Just think, you could have a niece or nephew who's your girlfriend's kid's half-sibling."

"That's- you- did you really have to tell me that _today_? You and-" He shuddered, "that's an image I do _not_ need. Thanks a lot."

"Oh please- _you_ were married to Lizzie's mom at one point, remember?"

"The marriage wasn't valid," he returned with as much dignity as he could muster. "Besides, that wasn't really Beth, it was her other personality, Lorelei."

"Ooh, and you were married to Ava's mom, too!" Dinah added impishly. "And you used to be her sister's adoptive father! Man, this really _is_ twisted."

"Welcome to Springfield," he muttered, doing his best to tune out her laughter.

* * *

"So what do you want to get?" Ava asked Emma brightly, flipping through the menu again and again. Not that she actually read a word of it- it just gave her something to look at other than the puzzlement in Emma's eyes. "D'you want to get a Buzz burger with the works? Or how about some macaroni and cheese, hmm? I know how much-"

"Ava," Emma interrupted, "why are you having Bill's baby? He's Lizzie's boyfriend, right?"

Ava blanched. _Oh god, do I really have to explain friends with benefits to a seven-year-old?_ "Why don't you ask Bill later?" she suggested, putting on the fake smile that working at Spaulding had perfected. "I'm sure he'll be able to explain it much better than I can." Okay, so the smile wasn't entirely fake. Bill deserved to suffer a little after the way he'd treated her all week.

Emma nodded slowly. "Lizzie's really mad," she said, biting her lip. "She was crying. She's my sister… should I be mad, too?"

Ava's eyes widened. One of the waitresses chose that particular moment to come over and ask for their order, so Ava had a few minutes to think about it while she and Emma made their choices. She had of course realized that this pregnancy would be beyond awkward for the little girl, but she hadn't realized that she would feel pressured to take sides.

Once the waitress was gone, Ava leaned forward. "Mad at me?" she asked carefully. "Gee, I hope not."

"No, at Bill," Emma explained gravely. "Because he made you and Lizzie sad. She was crying and yelling and…" She trailed off, looking rather upset herself.

Ava grabbed her hand, inwardly cursing Lizzie. Couldn't she have saved her tantrum for when Emma wasn't there to see it? "Lizzie and Bill will be fine," she told her. "They've had fights before, but they've still always made up. And Bill and I will be fine too. We just have to talk some things over. Lizzie and I don't want you to be mad at anyone, okay?"

Emma frowned, clearly thinking it over. "Okay," she said after a few moments, and Ava breathed an inner sigh of relief. "What are you going to name the baby?"

Finally, a question that would be relatively easy to field. "I don't know yet. That's a pretty big decision- I might need some help. Can you think of anyone who might have some ideas?"

"Ooh, me!" she said, beaming.

"All right, Aunt Emma," she agreed, tickling her. "You've got yourself a deal."

"A deal?" Bill asked as he slid into a seat across from them. "Are you two conspiring together behind my back?"

Emma giggled. "No, Ava said I can help name the baby!"

The adults' gazes briefly locked over her head. Ava waited, sure he was going to make some lame comment or get awkward again.

But instead he smiled at her sister, those dimples of his flashing. "That sounds like a great idea," he told her seriously. "I'm sure you've already got all sorts of great ideas, right?" She nodded. "How about you make a list for us when we get you home, okay?"

"Okay."

He nodded, then looked over to where Dinah was sitting. "Why don't you go say hi to Sarah and Dinah for a minute?" he suggested. "I'm sure they'd love to see you."

"Okay!" she said brightly, and skipped off to do just that.

Bill looked after her for a moment, eyes wistful. "She's a good kid."

"Yeah, she is." Ava wasn't going to let that distract her, though. "Look, Bill-"

"You should probably steer clear of Lizzie for awhile," he interrupted, leaning back in his chair and rubbing the back of his neck. He was trying way too hard to look nonchalant. "She's going to be pretty upset for awhile-"

"No, you think?"

"-and a confrontation with her probably wouldn't be good for you when you're… in this condition."

"Pregnant, you mean," she said dryly.

"Yeah, right, pregnant. Did you order something already? Because if you didn't-"

"What's going on?"

He blinked. "What do you mean?"

She lifted her eyebrows. "You've spent the past week acting like I don't exist, and now you're concerned? I don't buy it."

"I am!" he protested.

"Yeah, that's been so obvious this week, from the way you dodged my phone calls and-"

"All right, so I haven't exactly been supportive-"

"No, not exactly."

Bill leaned across the table, looking frustrated. "Look, Ava, cut me a little slack, okay? This was a huge shock, and I've been trying to figure out how to deal with it-"

"I thought we were friends, Bill!" she exclaimed.

Bill just stared at her for a moment, appearing to be totally taken aback. "We are friends-"

She shook her head. "I thought I could count on you for help and support. I trusted you to come through for me, and-"

"I know, I know, I let you down and I'm sorry. I'm not going to run from this anymore, I promise. If you need anything you can just call me and-"

"And why should I believe that?"

"Because today was a wake-up call!" he snapped, eyes flashing. "After Lizzie told me what happened, I went to Cedars as fast as I could. It really hit me that you're carrying me kid. We're gonna be parents, Ava, and I can't run from that. And even though I wasn't planning on having kids any time soon, I- I don't _want_ to run from that. Our kid's going to have nothing but the best, starting right now."

She hesitated. "Do you mean that?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay, good." She hadn't expected him to come around this fast, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. Just knowing that Bill was done being in denial already made her feel better.

* * *

After Bill and Ava were done at Company, he headed to Lizzie's hotel room. He had a key, so he could just let himself in if she wasn't there and wait for her to get back. She might have had enough time to calm down and be able to listen to him, but even if she hadn't, he still couldn't just sit around and wait. He hated the idea that she thought he'd cheated on her, and he hated knowing that it was his own past behavior that honestly made her believe it.

He got to the apartment just as Jonathan was exiting it, a big designer suitcase in one hand and another bag slung over his shoulder. Just as Jonathan pulled the door shut Bill struck, grabbing him and pushing him back against the wall. Both bags hit the ground.

"Get your hands off me," Jonathan snarled.

Not likely. "What are you doing with Lizzie's things, huh?" he demanded. "Where's Lizzie?"

"Like I'd tell you-"

"I have to talk to her!"

Jonathan looked less than impressed. "You've said enough."

"Don't- don't act like you want to protect her from me-"

"Well shouldn't somebody?" he returned.

Bill smirked. "The man who stole her child from her _might_ be the wrong one to-"

Jonathan burst out laughing, taking Bill aback. "It just kills you that _I'm_ the one she went to for help, doesn't it?"

"I didn't cheat on her, Jonathan," Bill informed him, voice low. God it was hard not to hit him.

He laughed even more. "I know."

Surprised, Bill loosened his grip. "What do you _mean_ you know, you-"

Jonathan twisted free, impatience flashing across his face. "I even said that to Lizzie already. It's hard enough for her, knowing you got someone _pregnant_ without her thinking that you cheated, too. I didn't say it for your sake, if that's what you're thinking. I said it for her."

Bill rolled his eyes. "Since when do you care so much about her, huh?"

Jonathan smirked. "Shouldn't you be thanking me?"

"Thanking-" Bill's hands tightened into fists, and he started to lunge at him.

"Stop it, both of you!" Beth strode up to them from around the corner of the hallway, planting herself between them, grabbing Bill's arm as if to hold him back. She looked from one to the other. "_What_ is going _on_? Jonathan, why do you have those suitcases?"

Jonathan stared hard at Bill for another moment before looking at Beth. "Lizzie's going to be staying with me for a few days," he said flatly. Then, in a voice loaded with sarcasm, "Now, if you'll excuse me…" He picked up both suitcases again and headed off, leaving Bill to glare after him.

"What's all this about?" Beth demanded of Bill. "Rick and the kids are in the car, and I came to ask Lizzie to join us for dinner, and now she's at _Cross Creek_? Why?"

Bill just looked at her for a moment. He still couldn't believe any of this was happening, and the idea of telling Beth… well, he'd heard the stories about her personality change since her marriage to Alan. He had no desire to be held hostage in a cabin, thank you very much. "Go ask her," he finally muttered. "I need a drink." He took off for his room, ignoring Beth's questions.

Once he got there he flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. Ava had passed out, Emma had looked at him like she didn't know him, Lizzie was staying with Jonathan…

"Please don't let this get any worse," he murmured, then groaned and rubbed his face. _Right, like this could actually get __**better**_.

* * *

Lizzie was curled up on the sofa, watching some mindless television, when the door opened. She looked up out of idle curiosity just as Jonathan walked in, carrying her suitcases- followed by Dinah, who was holding Sarah.

Lizzie quickly sat up, self-consciously straightening her clothes. "What are you doing here?" she asked her friend.

Dinah set Sarah down, smiling as the little girl made a beeline for a toy, then sat down next to Lizzie. "Bill told me what happened," she said gently. "I thought you could use a friend."

Lizzie made a small, choked noise and dropped her head into her hands. "What about Bill?" she finally asked.

Dinah set her hand on Lizzie's back. "I've already talked to Bill, and if he needs me I'll go see him- but just because he's my brother doesn't mean I don't want to help you, too."

She sighed. "I can't believe he didn't tell me."

"He wanted to. But you know how men are- they put things off until-"

Lizzie looked up at her, eyes sharp. "You knew, didn't you?"

"Lizzie-"

"How long?" she demanded, jumping up from the couch and staring at her. "How long did you know that he-"

"I only found out a few days ago, all right?" Dinah said quickly, also standing. "I didn't tell you because it wasn't my place, but I did push him to tell you. He was going to, Lizzie- he wanted to get in some grand gestures, like dinner and flowers-"

Lizzie's jaw dropped. "He thought that _buying me flowers_ and taking me out for some, what, some fancy dinner would make up for _getting Ava Peralta pregnant_?"

"No, Lizzie," Dinah said quietly. "He thought it would help prove that even though he slept with her months ago, the only person he wants to be with is you."

Lizzie took a deep breath, then abruptly sat back down. "I actually thought he and I could be a normal couple," she said wryly, shaking her head. "How stupid is that?"

Dinah sat down slowly, putting her arm around her shoulders. "Not stupid," she said gently, "just hopeful."

"I should have known better," she muttered. "Since when does anything in my life actually go right?"

"I know the feeling," Dinah remarked. And because she knew she did, Lizzie sighed and rested her head on her friend's shoulder.

"Thanks, Dinah," she said quietly.

She smiled a little, patting her back. "Hey, what are friends for?"


	7. The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Disclaimer: I am in no way connected to Guiding Light, and I'm not making any sort of profit off this story. I'm just a fan.

* * *

Chapter Seven: The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Now that Emma, of all people, knew, Ava quickly realized that she couldn't keep quiet about her pregnancy any longer. So when they met up with Olivia on Main Street, Olivia had barely begun to apologize for running late before Ava blurted out, "I'm pregnant."

Olivia stopped short, staring at her. "Excuse me?"

Ava hesitated. _You've come this far. Might as well go all the way._ "It's not like I did it on purpose or anything!" she said quickly, starting to pace. "It's just one of those things, you know, and I only found out a week and a half ago so I haven't been keeping quiet for that long, and I just-" She turned back to her biological mother, her eyes wide, "please say you're not mad at me."

"Of course I'm not mad," Olivia said reassuringly. "I'm here for you no matter what. You know that."

Ava sighed in relief. "Thanks," she said, hugging her. Olivia was still recovering from the heart transplant, but her embrace felt solid and secure, and Ava felt like she could breathe more easily than she had since she took that first pregnancy test.

Olivia smiled, then looked down at her younger daughter. "Hey, Emma, do you want to go get Mommy a drink?" she asked, crouching down and handing her some money. Emma nodded and headed to CO2, and Olivia stood again, her expression serious.

"So who's the father?"

Ava winced. "Bill."

Olivia blinked, then laughed wryly, shaking her head. "He's just the gift that keeps on giving, isn't he?"

"Olivia, I seriously didn't do this on purpose. It was just sex with Bill, you know that! I know it's going to be weird, since Bill used to be Emma's dad, and now _I'll_ have a kid with him, and-"

She looked amused, of all things. "Don't, Ava. He and I have been divorced for a long time now, and we've both moved on. Don't worry about it on my account."

Ava shook her head. "I know, but it still just seems…"

"Don't worry about it. I mean it." Olivia tilted her head, her eyes sharpening. "Does Bill know?"

"Yeah, he's the only person I told."

"How'd he take it?"

Ava groaned, rolling her eyes. "He wouldn't even talk to me until today, and that's-" She was going to tell Olivia about her fainting spell, but thought better of it. Olivia did _not_ need to worry about her. "Well I think he'll be better now."

"He'd better be," she said firmly. "Who else knows, and how?"

Ava hesitated, shifting from one foot to the other. "Olivia-"

"Who. Else. Knows?"

Well, there was no point in lying. "Emma knows," she said reluctantly. "She found out earlier. Lizzie knows, Lillian knows, Jonathan and Dinah both know…"

"Do I want to ask how?" Olivia inquired dryly.

"No, not really." She laughed quickly. "Today's definitely not my day."

They sat down on the bench, keeping Emma in their line of vision. Olivia turned toward Ava, lightly resting her hand on her forearm.

"So you're sure you want to have the baby, then?" she asked quietly.

Ava smiled a little. "Yeah, I am."

"Okay." Olivia sighed. "I can't believe I'm going to be a grandmother. I'm too young for this."

"Just think about how Jeffrey'll feel," Ava teased, then quickly sobered. "Oh god, I'm going to have to tell _Jeffrey_." She and Olivia looked at each other for a moment, then Olivia laughed and Ava groaned, resting her head on her mother's shoulder.

* * *

After a sleepless night, Bill grumpily went to work, snapping at anyone unfortunate enough to get in his way.

He managed to get about five minutes of quiet time in his office before Billy invited himself in, a big smile on his face. "Isn't it a great morning?" he said brightly, probably just to annoy Bill.

His son groaned. "It would be better if I could actually get anything _done_," he snapped, staring at his computer monitor.

"You don't have a minute for your dad?" he asked, pretending to sound hurt.

Bill rolled his eyes. "Bye, Dad."

"So what's wrong with Lizzie?"

The question, combined with his father's suddenly flat tone, caught him off-guard, and he looked up automatically, blue eyes wide. "Lizzie?"

"Yeah, she called in and said she'd be running late," Billy elaborated, watching him shrewdly. "I could tell she was trying to seem normal, you know, but something's definitely wrong. You two didn't get in a fight, did you?"

Bill's stomach was churning. "It's none of your business, Dad," he said shortly, swinging back around to face the computer screen. He couldn't deal with this right now, and hoped his dad would get the hint.

"Boy, you're in here sulking and she's off somewhere, upset," Billy pointed out, putting his hands on Bill's desk and leaning forward. "You'd better believe it's my business, so you might as well go ahead and tell me, because you know I'll find out." When Bill didn't respond, Billy asked more softly, "You two didn't split up, did you?"

"No!" Bill exclaimed, pushing back from the desk and springing to his feet. "No, we did _not_ break up, we just- something happened, and she's having a hard time dealing with it right now. But we'll be okay, she just- she just needs some time, you know, some space-"

"What did you do, boy?"

"Well it's not like I did it on purpose!"

"Did what?" he asked patiently.

"Dad-"

"Bill, if you'd just go ahead and tell me-"

"Ava Peralta's pregnant, all right?" he snapped, surprising even himself. As he took in his father's dumbfounded expression, he groaned and dropped back into his chair, rubbing a hand over his face. "She and I- it happened before I started dating Lizzie. Ava and I never had anything serious, we just-"

"Kept each other's beds warm," he finished, expression inscrutable.

"Yeah." He paused for a moment, then spoke again, more quietly this time. "I didn't cheat on Lizzie, I swear. I wouldn't do that. You know that."

Billy studied him. "I believe you. So you told Lizzie and she freaked out?" Bill winced, and Billy's tone hardened. "Bill?"

"I- didn't exactly get to tell her," he admitted.

"What do you mean you didn't tell her?!"

"I was going to, all right?" he retorted angrily. "I was going to take her out to a nice dinner and tell her after that. But first she went to Cedars, and while she was there Ava fainted, and Lillian said she was pregnant right when _I_ got there, so it took Lizzie like two seconds to figure out who the father was, and then _Jonathan_ showed up and now she's staying with _him_, and it's- it's a mess."

"Sounds like it," his father agreed evenly. "So what are you gonna do now?"

"I don't know. I have to talk to her, but if she won't listen-"

"Well it _is_ Lizzie," he pointed out. "You know how insecure she still is."

Bill bit back an impatient comment. When would people stop thinking that they needed to explain how Lizzie's mind worked to him? "Yeah, Dad, I know. Why do you think I was so nervous about telling her?"

Billy shook his head. "And what are you gonna do about Ava?"

"What can I do? I'll just be there for whatever she needs and- and then when the kid gets here, I'll be there for them. I mean, it's 2008- we don't have to get married or anything to keep the kid safe and happy."

"Did you tell Lizzie that?" his father asked gently.

"She didn't give me a chance to tell her anything!"

"And how long are you gonna let her go on being miserable and thinking whatever it is that's going through her head right now?"

Bill's shoulders slumped. That was the question, wasn't it? "I don't know," he muttered.

Billy went over to him, put a hand on his back. "You'd better figure it out, boy."

He laughed wryly. "That much I do know."

* * *

After Lizzie finished talking to Billy and tucked her phone back into her purse, she grabbed the bouquet of daisies from the passenger seat and got out of her car, heading for the graveyard. She had meant to go to work, as her businesslike outfit proved, but on the way she had impulsively switched routes and now… here she was.

Her walk slowed the closer she got to her destination before she finally halted in front of an all too familiar grave. She knelt down and set the daisies on the ground in front of it, then straightened, not moving her eyes from Tammy's headstone.

"I didn't know where else to go," she said softly, then laughed a little, wiping her eyes. "I know, it's crazy, right- there are so many people I could go to for support now, and I'm still here, alone." She sighed, tucking her hands into the pockets of her khakis, and shrugged. "I wish you were here, Tammy. You'd know what it is I'm going through. I know, that's so selfish of me, to wish for your support even after everything I did to you, but- but I could use someone who would listen and care, you know? And you would. You'd understand, and you'd help me figure out what to do, and-"

"Lizzie?"

She turned, gasping sharply, and quickly wiped the tears from her face when she realized who it was. "Oh, Cassie, hi," she said quickly, taking a step back as Tammy's mother joined her in front of the grave. "I didn't realize- if you want me to go-"

"No, wait," Cassie said, holding up a hand. She looked concerned, something that still amazed Lizzie. After everything she'd done, this woman should hate her. "Lizzie, if you need someone to talk to you can always try me."

And wouldn't that be unbelievably awkward? "I don't know, I should probably be getting to work-" she rambled, beginning to turn away.

"Is there something wrong at work? Or with Bill?"

Lizzie froze. She couldn't help it. She slowly bowed her head, feeling the tears come flooding back again. "Maybe I should've been expecting it," she said quietly. "Everything was so perfect. Too perfect. But I don't understand… of everything it could have been, why…"

"Lizzie, what happened?" Cassie asked quietly.

She shook her head, slowly turning back to face her. "Bill got someone pregnant," she managed to say, and watched Cassie's mouth drop open. "No, not just someone- Ava Peralta."

Cassie blinked, clearly trying to process this information. "Ava's pregnant?" she repeated, and Lizzie flinched. "Are you sure it's Bill's? I've seen how he looks at you, Lizzie- I can't imagine him cheating on you."

"I wouldn't have thought so, either," she said wryly, running her hand over her hair and then gripping it. "Jonathan- Jonathan thinks that maybe Ava got pregnant before we got together, but- but then how long has Bill known, and how long was he going to keep lying, and- and I can't believe I'm talking to you about this." She dropped her hand, tone abruptly hardening. "I should go-"

She started to rush off, but Cassie quickly caught her arm and spun her back around to face her. There was so much pain in Cassie's eyes, the kind that Lizzie once saw when she looked in the mirror, during those dark days that she thought she'd caused her own daughter's death.

"Two years ago, Tammy came to me and told me that Jonathan was the father of your child," she said quietly, holding her gaze. "I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her- talk to him."

Lizzie shook her head. "I don't think- what if-"

"You can drive yourself crazy trying to think of all the what-ifs," Cassie told her. "Go find out what _is_, and go on from there."

Lizzie took a deep breath. "You're right. I- I will. Thank you, Cassie- for listening, even though I don't deserve-"

Cassie smiled slightly. "It's not about what you deserve, Lizzie. Tammy would have helped you, and since she can't, now it's my job."

"I wouldn't have deserved her help, either."

"She would have forgiven you a long time ago."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Lizzie looked over her shoulder at Tammy's grave, bit her lip.

Cassie sighed, moving closer to the grave and back into Lizzie's line of vision. "Go talk to Bill," she said quietly. "I hope everything works out." _Better than it did for Tammy._ She didn't have to say the words aloud for them to hang between both women.

Lizzie smiled a little. "Thanks, Cassie." She glanced towards Tammy's grave one last time, then turned and headed back to the car. She knew what she had to do.

* * *

She checked her reflection in the washroom mirror one last time, making sure that her freshly reapplied makeup looked good and that there was no trace of tears.

"All right, let's do this," she murmured. She took a deep breath, squared her shoulders, and headed for Bill's office.

Just as she got there, Billy walked by, stopping short when he saw her. "Sweetie, Bill told me what's going' on, and if you need to take the day off-" he began, sympathy and love written all over his face.

She just shook her head and kept on going, bursting into Bill's office. She would have given anything to be able to stop and hug Billy and let him do his best to reassure her, but if she crumbled now she might not be able to go through with this.

Bill was sitting at his desk, staring off into space, chin rested on his folded hands. When she walked in he immediately looked over and jolted, his eyes widening and a myriad of expressions- hope, worry, confusion, remorse, surprise- flashed across his face. "Lizzie-"

She shut the door hard behind her, feeling oddly empowered by the harshness of the sound. "We need to talk," she said bluntly, keeping her eyes on his and willing herself to get through this without falling apart.


End file.
